Horrible Holiday Haiku!

killer santa

In the tradition of my Worst Christmas Story Ever Written post from last year, I bring you a batch of all new, never before seen Heinously Horrid Holiday Haiku. Whereas last time I went out of my way to write something awful, today’s holiday offering is naturally occurring  bad poetry. In other words, with me and poetry, this is as good as it gets!

Enjoy (or suffer):

Joy in giving gifts

Just don’t use a credit card

Digits could be hacked


“Santa Claus is white”

Opines one Megyn Kelly

Jesus must be, too


Christmas carols rock

They can even melt the hearts

Of heathens like me


I must disagree

That gift cards make cheesy gifts

Amazon is fine


Dear Senator Paul,

Mr. Scrooge ain’t a hero

In the beginning


Making merry time

Where are you, Martha Stewart?

Tell me what to do


Lucas rolls in cash

Even after 40 years

Kids want Star Wars toys


Long the naughty list

After all, what kid is good?

It’s all relative


“A War on Christmas!”

They cry for a day that was

Stolen from pagans


Lovely Christmas tree

Though not quite spiritual

It’s made of plastic













Happy Holidays, whichever one you celebrate!

27 responses to “Horrible Holiday Haiku!

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